Let’s Kill Him!

Be discrete with whom you share the special things God reveals to you. They foster jealousy and resentment in those at the end of their ropes. Relationships are delicate and easily bruised by unthoughtful words carelessly spoken.

Is there a jealous person who would like to throw you into a pit? That person could be your sibling, your friend, your colleague, your boss…

The story of Joseph is one of those stories we never tire of hearing. Jacob exercises poor judgment and sends Joseph to check on the older brothers.

The sight of Joseph in his flamboyant coat ignites the brothers’ hatred. They plot his murder. Reuben the eldest son steps in the gap and pleads for Joseph’s life. They compromise, throw him in a pit and then sell him into slavery. Sibling jealousy forced Joseph to the end of his rope.

Today the “Let’s kill him” attitude is, “Let’s throw cold water all over his dreams. Let’s not compliment their new clothes. Let’s mock his new faith and knock the heart right out of him.” With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Can you identify with Joseph and his brothers? Have you ever been pushed to the point where you found yourself pondering physical or psychological harm to another?

It’s possible that like Joseph, God is showering His favour on you. All the right doors are opening to/for you at just the right time. None of your children challenges your’s or God’s authority. Your home is not turned into a domestic war zone. You’ve never had an end of the rope experience. Every decision and choice you make seems to be right every time.

Hold God’s purposes for your life close to your chest. There is a time in which God will make them public. Premature disclosure can trigger a negative reaction among your close relationships.

Teaching Children Teamwork

It is not easy sometimes for adults to work well with others, let alone children. Children, though, if taught from a young age will work well with others, will grow up and excel at any activity.

We all know teamwork is important. It’s a life skill our children need to master in order to succeed in life. Teamwork is a great confidence builder as well. Independence is important, but interdependence is what keeps us growing together and going forward. A family that can function well as a team is ready to take on anything that comes its way.

Teamwork teaches our children to trust others, communicate and cooperate with them. They learn to respect others and realize their strengths and weaknesses.

So how can we teach our children teamwork?

How early should parents start teaching their children teamwork?
How did you teach your child to work as a team member?

Responsibility

I am responsible for my life …
for my feelings …
for my personal growth …
and for every result I get…

We are not defined by what happens to us, but how we REACT to what happens; not by what life brings US, but the ATTITUDE we bring to life.

I can only control two things; my attitude and my behaviour.

It is comforting when we fully realize our responsibility (Response – Ability) is within our control. This knowledge applies to the results we want (and need) to achieve.

Results and outcomes are important, but they really are the measurement of our responses. There is a lot of power in focusing on actions that produce results. Then I can freely admit, I don’t always control outcomes; I do control my actions. I control my focus, rituals, decisions, and disciplines. When I focus on those pieces, I am learning to let results take care of themselves.

Are we 100 percent responsible for everything that happens to us?

I believe our ultimate success and happiness is 100 percent up to us, based on our responses!

Fighting Your Adult Child’s Battles

“I say over and over again that if you want your children to know the truth you must give them the chance to think creatively. Stop conditioning them with beliefs; allow them to understand things for themselves. Creativity will become their capacity for life; creativity will become their wisdom. That capacity and that wisdom will lead them to the uncharted sea of truth” – Osho Shree Rajneesh

Parents stifle their children from growing up by fighting their battles for them and not allowing them to learn how to interact with people and to solve their own problems. Parents who do that are so afraid of the world hurting their child when in fact they’re hurting them more by getting too involved in their child’s situations.

You should not be doing it for them. Part of a child growing up is to fight their own battles and not having mum and dad interfering. They’re capable of managing their own lives and don’t need their parents help in doing it.

Parents need to know when to stay out of their children’s private lives and to live their own life and to let their child go. It’s hard when people have to live with parents who behave like this and it can put a strain on the relationship between parent and child, but this affects mothers more than it does fathers.

Some parents have destroyed their children’s matrimonial homes as a result of fighting their battles for them. There are also many occasions when parents intervene and tell the husband that the wife is a witch and he needs to leave her. How did they find out? They refer to some occultic “church” vision. Sometimes, he does leave or she leaves and the marriage is over, regardless of children. Some even accuse the innocent children of couples of being possessed by demons. Apart from destroying the matrimonial homes, some parents have destroyed their children’s education, careers, relationships and religious beliefs.

Most parents simply need to be realistic and consider how they may wish to stop fighting their child’s battles!

Hence, to me it’s very important that we “teach” our children to manage their emotions, to be emotionally intelligent. To me that is the base on which the child will operate through confidence.

So an important aspect of education and child development at an early stage is the training to manage their emotions and to bring the kind of stability required to be able to make more effective and successful decisions in life. How do we do that? Remember Emotional development starts with self awareness which leads to self regulation.

I always tell my children that it will get to a point in their lives and mine when I will not swallow panadol for their headaches.

What age would you leave your child alone?

Sibling Rivalry

At the very beginning of time, the first two siblings, Cain and Abel, did not get along with each other, and as a result Cain killed his brother! Fortunately, we can rest assured (hopefully!) that our children are not about to murder their brother or sister. However, this reassurance provides little comfort in the face of constant bickering, antagonism, jealousy, opposition and fighting.

What can parents do to eliminate sibling rivalry?

Practical Wisdom

Choice is directed at some end, and this involves determining what the end should be and how it should be reached. We are responsible for the choices we make and for their consequences. We are free to make choices and to take actions based on those choices.

What is practical wisdom?

According to Aristotle in his Nicomachean Ethics, practical wisdom is a true characteristic that is bound up with action, accompanied by reason, and concerned with things good and bad for a human being.

Practical wisdom is not concerned with the universals alone, but must also be acquainted with the particulars: it is bound up with action, and action concerns the particulars.

Practical wisdom is concerned with human things and with those that about which it is possible to deliberate.

He who [has practical wisdom] is skilled in aiming, in accord with calculation, at what is best for a human being in things attainable through action.

Simply put, Practical Wisdom “is the ability to do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason.”

Why Seek Practical Wisdom?

Aristotle believed that everything had a telos–its aim, purpose, or maximum potential. Achieving this purpose led to arete or excellence. The telos of man was eudaimonia which is happiness or flourishing–a life lived to its utmost.

The path to eudaimonia is paved with decisions made with practical wisdom. The better your decisions, the more you will progress, the more of your potential you will use, and the more your life will flourish. In short, practical wisdom is the path to true happiness and satisfaction.

How can we cultivate practical wisdom in our own lives?

There are many things you can do to develop your own practical wisdom, such as learning critical thinking skills, refining your goals and core values, expanding your intellect, and always being sure to understand the circumstances of a situation as much as possible before making a decision. But the tools needed to develop practical wisdom must be nurtured by experience. Remember, skills are learnt through experience.

Searching for practical wisdom is the only thing we can do to change our world.

Keep searching and keep doing your best.

Are You Stuck In Your Life?

It feels good to know how to wipe away the mess you or your children create in your kitchen and in your car. And you don’t even mind cleaning the mess every time.

If only our life mess could be fixed with soap, water, and a handful of paper towels. If only.

Are you satisfied with your life?

If your answer is no or if there are problem areas you need to work on, what should you do?

Your first step should be to explore what is behind your feelings of unhappiness, lack of confidence, low self esteem etc. If you don’t know what the problems and their causes are how can you make changes for the better?

That is where many people get “stuck”.

Are you stuck in your life?

The way to understand any situation or problem is to ask the right questions. You can ask yourself questions but it is hard to analyse ourselves and may not be helpful if you are depressed or low on confidence.

So here are two questions from me: “What is stopping you from making changes in your life right now?”. “Imagine you were happy now, how would your life look and what would you be doing?”

Think about these two questions and maybe it’ll give you somewhere to start on the path to a better future.

I wish you happiness.