Grief Has No Timeline

Grief Has No Timeline

Certain things need an expiration date. Milk, eggs, butter, flour, bread, meat, fish… there is a time we need to be done with them, and throw them away… I get all that. But does grief have an expiration date? For some reason, there seem to be an acceptable shelf life, 6 – 12 months, and then grief should be off the shelf, out of the home and permanently removed with the weekly trash service.

For people who have not experienced a close death, maybe grief has an expiration date – otherwise they would know the truth. No one wants somebody they love to die. So, until faced with reality, it’s easier to think ‘this won’t happen to me, and if it does it will only be bad for a short amount of time and then… there’s an expiration date and it is magically all gone’.

Some family and friends expect you to “get over” grief as soon as possible. The reality is you won’t be over it, nor should you be. If somebody spent years loving another person, the pain of that person’s death simply will not be removed due to a date on the calendar.

The opposite actually might happen – people who are grieving may feel even more pain 5, 10, 20, 40 years after the loss of their loved ones. That’s the reality. It is normal. And it’s okay because there is no one way to grief, and no certain order, and no timeline. There is definitely no expiration date.

Sometimes, the thought of your loved one missing a special day or milestone in your life, makes you sad. Yes. That’s the reality. Grief never fully goes away. That doesn’t mean you can’t and won’t live a happy and productive life. What it means is that the life you shared with loved ones lost, doesn’t have an expiration date.

On this day 29 years ago, I lost my mother, Esther Olabisi Akinwale. I am grateful everyday that she was my mother. I cherish with joy all the important life and business skills I learned from her.
I will treasure forever, my last day with the woman who raised me.

She was loving and kind in all her ways,
Upright and just to the end of her days,
Sincere and true in her heart and mind,
A beautiful memory she left behind,
She had a nature you could not help loving,
A heart that was purer than gold;
And to those who knew her and loved her, her memory will never grow old.



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What Is Holding You Back?

What Is Holding You Back?

“Shake yourself from the dust; arise, and sit down, O Jerusalem: loose thyself from the bands of thy neck, O captive daughter of Zion.” –  Isaiah 52:2

Your purpose in life is met when your spirit is free.

What holds you back? What frustrates you? What keeps repeating? Where do you always find a roadblock?
Make a list.

There are chains when we are caught in wrong emotions, when we can’t seem to find peace, when there’s constant fretting, when there are habits and addictions. We’re in bondage when we are obsessed with anyone or anything.

List negative traits in your life and lineage and then simply don’t repeat them. Only in freedom can you get back to who you really are. Where there is sin, repent; where bitterness has taken root, forgive; where there are poor examples (and bad traditions) start fresh.

What’s the most hurtful emotion or habit you have? Anger? Unforgiveness? Antagonism? Hostility? Impatience? Guilt?

No matter how trapped you are, know this: there is always an exit.

God is in the business of breaking chains…

What chains are in your life? In your family’s?  Why not list them. Why not plead the blood of Jesus to break them when the priest elevates the mighty chalise? #Eucharist

God’s love heals and breaks every chain. The prison door is open. You are free!

#ProsperInAllThings  #TurningPoint #HealingGrace  #Freedom #Direction #PersonalDefect #Bondage #Liberty #BreakOutIntoTheNew #HealingMercy


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