What Next? Take Time To Reflect


The end of the year is a great time to take stock of the year, to look ahead and to reflect on your life wheel because it encourages mindfulness and accountability. http://personalexcellence.co/blog/life-wheel/

Take a couple of moments before the New Year to think about new experiences that influenced you personally. Reflect on all the great things you have accomplished in the year 2015 and pull out the greatest lessons you have learned to bring into 2016.

What went well?  Who needs to be acknowledged?  What’s not working?  What do you need to let go of going forward?  What do you need to spend time on to see better results?  How can you be much kinder to yourself in the coming year?  Who will you connect with more in the year ahead?  What kind of leader, peer, friend, partner (and other roles) do you want to be?  What do you want?  What is your word/phrase/question for 2016?

No matter what your lessons and reflections, I wish you a beautiful end to year 2015 and a gratitude-filled start to 2016.

To Your Success!


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The Pain of Discipline or The Pain of Regret…The Choice is Yours!

Are you doing everything you can with all those amazing talents and gifts of yours? Do you even know how extraordinary you are? I hope so!

I know we can have many great attributes and dreams and life philosophies but if we never put them into action…where do we end up? Absolutely no where in this life.

Every single day, you can make a new choice. Repetition can be your saviour or your sword. Over time, neglect will lead to more neglect and discipline will lead to more discipline.

Taking away the blame and stepping into the responsibility of your own life’s direction IS the way to achieve your dreams. The weight of self-discipline is very much lighter than the load of regret.

The choices we make will either build our self-worth or tear it down. The choice is yours, and yours alone to make!
Make it a great day!

The Work of Love

So many roads, so many choices, and it seems like I’ve chosen them all in this short life. Life is about choice and we are the sum of our choices.

Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within ourselves that we have built against it.

The work of love is choosing to love. Choosing to treat each other with kindness. Choosing to keep the relationship alive and healthy. Choosing to give to one another. Choosing to remain friends despite conflicts. Choosing to negotiate conflicts to mutually agreed resolutions. Choosing to combine our resources. Choosing to value and respect our differences. Choosing to create a beneficial partnership of independent, yet interdependent individuals.

Real lasting love is a choice.

I googled “I choose love”, and stumbled upon the great quote below by Max Lucado, gathered by goodreads.

It is now I must make a choice. I’m free to choose. And so…

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My spouse/family will not question my love.

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I am a spiritual being… After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.”

― Max Lucado

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Remember, valentine’s day is not all about giving and receiving presents. It’s about your love between each other and that presents are just side-solutions to love.


Fences in Your Mind

Excerpt from Living a Five Star Life by Betty Mahalik

This book is beautifully written. It is a treasury of wisdom, common sense and inspiration.

I’ve watched the movie Chicken Run at least a half-dozen times. Just beneath the surface of its simplistic look and story line lie a number of wonderful messages told through the eyes of a bunch of Claymation chickens trying to break out of their chicken-wire world to escape their fate at the chopping block. Their freedom leader, a feisty little hen named Ginger, comments profoundly in one scene: “the fences are all in your mind.” She reminds her fellow chickens (and us), that a bigger obstacle than the physical fences they’re surrounded by are the mental fences that hold them captive.

It’s been a good reminder for me on those occasions when I’ve been dealing with my own mental fences…those created by self-doubt, uncertainty, fear. Can you relate? Where have you fenced yourself in mentally in recent days or weeks? Perhaps your mental fence is procrastination, a deadening habit that keeps you stuck. Maybe yours, like mine, is related to self-doubt, and the on-going internal noise it produces that keeps you immobilized. Perhaps yours is the belief that you don’t deserve success, so you sabotage yourself to avoid having to find out how successful you could be. There are a million variations of the theme, but the result is still the same: we stay stuck like the chickens in the movie.

Here are the questions I invite you to ask yourself as you continue on your own personal development journey.

1. What are your mental fences?

2. What is the cost of maintaining these fences (physically and mentally)?

3. Are you willing to let go of your perceived realities (fences) and attempt to conquer them?

If you answered “yes” to question number three, I have a simple equation that will assist you in this process.


Your mental fences can only keep you stuck as long as you’re simply looking “at” them. As soon as you begin to establish a vision and take actions consistent with your vision, I can promise you that your fences will disappear.

If it’s self-doubt, sit down and write out everything you value and why it’s important. Then challenge yourself to eliminate anything that doesn’t absolutely reflect your values, or add something that is a profound statement of who you are.

And remember, the fences are all in your mind!



Your mind is like soil.

Your mind is like soil in which ideas and thoughts are planted. That is why you have to water it regularly with knowledge. When the seed of an idea is sown on the fertile mind it flourishes and produces a great harvest.

The land of the ignorance on the other hand, is dry and barren like a desert. Very few things can grow there. Cultivate and tend your plot. Nurture it. Then you will know what your life is worth.

Think of it this way, your intention is a seed, and a seed is limited in its growth by the soil it is placed in. To make it simple – the seeds you are planting need rich soil to grow.

Rich Soil = Rich growth. Poor soil = Poor Growth.

What are your seeds? Will you plant good seeds or bad seeds? The choice is yours.


Cleave Not Leave

For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24

You can separate two pieces of wood taped together, but you cannot separate without great damage two pieces of wood glued together. Cleaving involves unswerving loyalty to one’s marital partner…

Accepting the Biblical standard for cleaving means asking ourselves when contemplating marriage:
‘Am I prepared to make a lifetime commitment to my prospective spouse, for better or for worse till death do us part? Once married, cleaving means to ask ourselves: Will this action, word, decision, or attitude draw us closer together or further apart? Will it build up or tear down our relationship?

For a Christian committed to living by the principles of God’s word, any course of action which weakens the cleaving must be regarded as contrary to God’s design for a marriage covenant.

Having been married for 20 years, I have come to realize that to cleave means that we are now one. We’re no longer two individuals with our separate agendas and plans. Everything we do affects one another, somehow and some way. We’re now our own family, distinct from the families we grew up in.

Did you note that? We’re “distinct from the families we grew up in” –not an extension. It’s a matter of figuring out together what YOUR mark is to be on the world, as husband and wife –as a team. Those who were once your primary family are now to take a back seat to the priorities, which you mark out as a family. You still love your family and friends, but you no longer allow them to take precedence over your spouse.

What does it mean ‘to cleave’? From Genesis 2, it means ‘to adhere to, stick to, to be attached by a strong tie.’ You might be thinking, ‘Yes, that’s me. I’m stuck!’ But that isn’t the meaning here. In the original Hebrew, this verb form speaks of doing something aggressively. In other words, you’re not stuck to something like on fly paper, trying to get loose. Rather, you’re holding on.

Imagine walking along the edge of a cliff and suddenly lose your footing. As you go over the side, you grab a branch and hold on to it. It’s something you’ve done by will, because your life depends on it. That’s the implication of the word ‘cleave’ here.

Therefore, you must periodically examine your life and ask yourself if any relationship or pursuit in which you are currently involved would put distance between you and your spouse. Will it draw you closer together or drive you apart? Will it build your relationship or tear it down?

It is not always the big things that bring a marriage down. It is often the small things. As the Scripture says, it’s ‘the little foxes that spoil the vines’ (Song of Solomon 2:15). In marriage, it can be neglect, or the unwillingness to hold on tightly to your spouse.

Some questions to discuss before you say ‘I Do’.

Why are we getting married? Pregnancy, financial/social security, loneliness or wanting to get out of the family home are not valid reasons to get married.

What do we as a couple want out of life?

Does religion play an important part in your life?

Do you think faith and spirituality are important in marriage?

What is your image of God?

What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?

Can we both forgive?

How will we make decisions together?

What do you think we’ll be doing in thirty or forty years?

Have you ever hit someone?

Are you willing to replace the toilet roll or clean the dishes?

What values do you want to bring from your family into our marriage?

What do you like and dislike about your parents’ marriage?

What do you like and dislike about my family?

What was your childhood like?

Was your family an affectionate one?

Do I have trust issues or feel insecure?

Do you believe we should be doing everything together?

What are our financial goals?

Do we want to have children?

What is your parenting philosophy?

Do you have any children already?


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Facing the Enemies Within by Jim Rohn

We are not born with courage, but neither are we born with fear. Maybe some of your fears are brought on by your own experiences, by what someone has told you, by what you’ve read in the papers. Some fears are valid, like walking alone in a bad part of town at two o’clock in the morning. But once you learn to avoid that situation, you won’t need to live in fear of it.

Fears, even the most basic ones, can totally destroy our ambitions. Fear can destroy fortunes. Fear can destroy relationships. Fear, if left unchecked, can destroy our lives. Fear is one of the many enemies lurking inside us.

Let me tell you about five of the other enemies we face from within. The first enemy that you’ve got to destroy before it destroys you is indifference. What a tragic disease this is. “Ho-hum, let it slide. I’ll just drift along.” Here’s one problem with drifting: you can’t drift your way to the top of the mountain.

The second enemy we face is indecision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity and enterprise. It will steal your chances for a better future. Take a sword to this enemy.

The third enemy inside is doubt. Sure, there’s room for healthy skepticism. You can’t believe everything. But you also can’t let doubt take over. Many people doubt the past, doubt the future, doubt each other, doubt the government, doubt the possibilities and doubt the opportunities. Worse of all, they doubt themselves. I’m telling you, doubt will destroy your life and your chances of success. It will empty both your bank account and your heart. Doubt is an enemy Go after it. Get rid of it.

The fourth enemy within is worry. We’ve all got to worry some. Just don’t let it conquer you. Instead, let it alarm you. Worry can be useful. If you step off the curb in New York City and a taxi is coming, you’ve got to worry. But you can’t let worry loose like a mad dog that drives you into a small corner. Here’s what you’ve got to do with your worries: drive them into a small corner. Whatever is out to get you, you’ve got to get it. Whatever is pushing on you, you’ve got to push back.

The fifth interior enemy is over-caution. It is the timid approach to life. Timidity is not a virtue; it’s an illness. If you let it go, it’ll conquer you. Timid people don’t get promoted. They don’t advance and grow and become powerful in the marketplace. You’ve got to avoid over-caution.

Do battle with the enemy. Do battle with your fears. Build your courage to fight what’s holding you back, what’s keeping you from your goals and dreams. Be courageous in your life and in your pursuit of the things you want and the person you want to become.

Source: http://www.jimrohn.com