Your Family Is An Organisation


What is the essential mission or purpose of this organisation, and what is its main strategy in accomplishing that purpose?

What is your family all about?  Where are you leading your family? Do you have a clear destination in mind? Do you have a flight plan?

People are willing to invest time and energy into running their business, but when it comes to their family, they think, ‘Oh, I don’t need to do that.’ 

They think, ‘My family isn’t going to fire me, but my boss might.’

Is your family a mission-less family? Who is the spiritual head of your family? Who is the spiritual heart of your family? 

If the family is the most important organisation in our lives, as many people believe, why do we spend so much time at work planning, clarifying what success looks like and how we’re going to get there, and then we come home, we’re so reactive and unintentional about family life? It doesn’t make any sense.

Why not use some of the business tools that help grow your companies at home, and see how your family will turn out.

Your family needs a mission to guide it toward intentional living.

Remember, no other success in public life can compensate for failure in the home. For if you have failed at home you have failed eternally.


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Someone asked me what the biggest cause of family problems is. I replied, LACK OF FAMILY VALUES. It’s not that people don’t know what is important, but those things are not important enough to drive their decisions and actions. Each family needs a set of life principles that guide and motivate their actions and those they influence.

How can we use values to add purpose to our lives and drive us and our children toward the greatest opportunity for fulfillment?

Is your marriage driven by values? Values start with marriage, the most important relationship in our lives. This is the foundation of the family.

How about your parenting style? Is it driven by values? Once the marriage value is set, it’s far easier to set parenting values.

I’m not going to say what each value should be…that’s your job. I will say that it must be a driving value. For example, it’s far easier to insist on honesty in your children if honesty is a value in your family that’s important enough to drive behaviour. So dishonesty would never be tolerated or rewarded.

True values drive behaviour. Don’t set a value that you are not willing to consistently practice. Once your values are set and consistently practiced, there will be little need for bickering and negotiation between parent and child.

Some ideas of values you might want to adopt to drive your family in addition to honesty are respect for others, respect for self, personal responsibility, productivity, protection of family members, mercy, education, etc.

Once you’ve set the values you want for your family, define those values so everyone understands them. Consider ways to explain your driving values and to reward and punish behaviour using the values. Some people post their driving values and definitions on the wall so they can use them to teach the kids, reinforcing the right behaviour and reason for the behaviour all at once. At the right age, you can start asking the kids to tell you what value applies to a given situation…even what your answer to their request should be based on the values. If you spend serious hours thinking through and developing your driving values, they will begin to drive the family so you don’t have to.

A values driven family is all about setting examples. “Do what I’m doing and you’ll be fine.” This is the signal your every action sends your children. Values driven parents live by the values they set for their children, because they value their children enough to avoid confusing them by doing one thing and saying another.

Quotes on Family Values:
”To nourish children and raise them against odds is in any time, any place, more valuable than to fix bolts in cars or design nuclear weapons”. – Marilyn French

“Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others”.- Sidonie Gruenberg

“Govern a family as you would cook a small fish – very gently” – Chinese Proverb

Life Is Like A Box of Crayons

We could all learn a lesson from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours but they all have to learn to live in the same box. ~ Robert Fulghum

Imagine how amazing it would be if every family member worked together to make life a little easier for each other; if everyone took the time to find out why another person thinks a certain way instead of starting a fight. Imagine if family members overcame their differences to live in the same house.

Enjoy this story!

Once upon a time there were 8 crayons. They all lived together in a gold and green box. They pretty much minded their own business and did not pay much attention to each other. Until one day one of them said, “I’m so blue and lonely. I’d really like to meet everyone in my box.” He leaned over to the next crayon and said, “You look bright and cheerful! What colour are you?” Well, I am the most important colour, of course! I am the colour of the sun. People would not get out of bed in the morning if it were not for me!

The blue crayon moved to the next crayon. Hello! I just met Yellow. What colour are you? I am the prettiest colour in this box! I am the colour of violets and pansies. My name is Purple!

The next crayon seemed to be having a wonderful time. She was smiling and happy and invited Blue to join her. Welcome! I am Orange. I’m so glad to meet you! Blue felt very comfortable to be with Orange, but wanted to meet everyone else in his box.

The next crayon was very focused on the previous crayons. When Blue approached him, he began whining. Why do I have to be the colour of grass on the ground? I want to be bright and shiny like Yellow. I want to be beautiful like Purple. And, Orange is so warm and inviting that everyone wants to be friends with her. Blue could tell this crayon was Green (with jealousy.)

Blue moved on. The next crayon was hard at work. He could see the dirt under his nails and on his face. He introduced himself. Hi. I’m Blue. The crayon responded, I really don’t have time to talk. My name is Brown and I’m the only one who works around here!

The next crayon Blue encountered was lying down and seemed to be rather sleepy. Blue said, I’m sorry to wake you, but I’m trying to meet everyone in our box. The crayon yawned and said, Oh, that’s o.k. I am so tired. I’ve been out all night while everyone else was sleeping. Others hardly notice that I am the night sky. Could you turn out the lights, please?

Not wanting to disrupt Black, Blue moved on to the last crayon. Blue spoke, I’m Blue. You are the last crayon I have to meet. Red replied, So you met all the others, huh? I’m so important, “I am so pretty, I’m the only one that works, blah, blah, blah.” I’m so tired hearing about everyone else, I just might leave this box!

Blue calls a meeting of all 8 crayons. I’m so glad to have met all of you! He looks at Yellow. You are important, but so is every other colour. If everything were bright and yellow, we would all be wearing sunglasses!

He turns to Purple. Purple is a very beautiful colour, but there are pretty Red roses, wonderful Orange butterflies, and Green grass in the spring.

Brown, you work very hard. Sometimes it helps to stop and take a break. Have a little fun!

Black, you may feel unnoticed but you are everywhere, and not just in the night sky. Your shadows may be hiding, but we still see you.

Looking next at Red, I know it’s hard to listen to everyone else’s problems. But we are all in this box together. Listen to your neighbour’s problems like they are your problems.

Blue’s meeting was successful! Soon the whole box was happy and humble, not jealous and resentful. They lived together in peace and harmony and gradually welcomed new, different colours. Soon they moved to a box of 16, 24, and an even happier 64! Even though there were many crayons, they were still one box!

From this story, we found that the crayons were so different, but had one purpose – to colour!

We live in God’s great big world! And, we are so different! We can appreciate each others’ differences and all live here together in peace and harmony, like the crayons, because we are all children of God!

Story by Amy Loftis

Generational Inheritance

What some parents leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of their children and grandchildren.

Proverbs 13:22 A good man leaves an inheritance [of moral stability and goodness] to his children’s children, and the wealth of the sinner [finds its way eventually] into the hands of the righteous, for whom it was laid up.

What a great society will we become if each parent takes up the task to become a “good” parent and strives to leave an inheritance for his children’s children?

“Good” – Someone that is superior, of excellent spirit, a morally sound person, respected, enjoys what he does, is an expert in his field, highly talented, trustworthy, have a sunny and pleasant personality, well mannered, do noble deeds and of benefit to the society.

A good man leaves an inheritance, not just to his children, but to his grandchildren. A good man so orders his life that his grandchildren will receive an inheritance, even without passing it to them directly – because a good man influences his children so that they also will pass on an inheritance.

What will we leave to the generations to come?
Are we establishing good patterns, so that we can, as good men and women, leave a good inheritance to them, or are we destroying their inheritance with the rubbish with which we are filling our own lives?

You will leave some kind of inheritance, one way or another. It’s only a question of what it will be.

Are you willing to pay the price of Generational Success?

Teaching Children Teamwork

It is not easy sometimes for adults to work well with others, let alone children. Children, though, if taught from a young age will work well with others, will grow up and excel at any activity.

We all know teamwork is important. It’s a life skill our children need to master in order to succeed in life. Teamwork is a great confidence builder as well. Independence is important, but interdependence is what keeps us growing together and going forward. A family that can function well as a team is ready to take on anything that comes its way.

Teamwork teaches our children to trust others, communicate and cooperate with them. They learn to respect others and realize their strengths and weaknesses.

So how can we teach our children teamwork?

How early should parents start teaching their children teamwork?
How did you teach your child to work as a team member?