Because I Always Have A Choice 

Compassion is changing before our eyes.

You may not have chosen the problem you inherited. You may not have asked for the hand life seems to have dealt you. But you do have a choice of what you will do in response. 

You have the choice to walk away or stay. You have the choice to blame or bless. You have the choice to forgive or live offended. No one can take that power from you. Though many may make you feel you’re all out of options, it’s not true! 

You can choose life. You can choose to get help. You can choose to break the silence. You can choose to forgive. You can choose to go home like the prodigal son.
Today, what do you need to choose to do, say or be?
Don’t let the enemy contain you in the false walls of the lies that he would like to frame around you. Instead, remember you always have a choice. So today choose well.
Because I always have a choice…

I choose LOVE.

Watch this video

#compassion #love #mercy #forgiveness #choice #prodigals 


Your Family Is An Organisation


What is the essential mission or purpose of this organisation, and what is its main strategy in accomplishing that purpose?

What is your family all about?  Where are you leading your family? Do you have a clear destination in mind? Do you have a flight plan?

People are willing to invest time and energy into running their business, but when it comes to their family, they think, ‘Oh, I don’t need to do that.’ 

They think, ‘My family isn’t going to fire me, but my boss might.’

Is your family a mission-less family? Who is the spiritual head of your family? Who is the spiritual heart of your family? 

If the family is the most important organisation in our lives, as many people believe, why do we spend so much time at work planning, clarifying what success looks like and how we’re going to get there, and then we come home, we’re so reactive and unintentional about family life? It doesn’t make any sense.

Why not use some of the business tools that help grow your companies at home, and see how your family will turn out.

Your family needs a mission to guide it toward intentional living.

Remember, no other success in public life can compensate for failure in the home. For if you have failed at home you have failed eternally.


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What Next? Take Time To Reflect


The end of the year is a great time to take stock of the year, to look ahead and to reflect on your life wheel because it encourages mindfulness and accountability.

Take a couple of moments before the New Year to think about new experiences that influenced you personally. Reflect on all the great things you have accomplished in the year 2015 and pull out the greatest lessons you have learned to bring into 2016.

What went well?  Who needs to be acknowledged?  What’s not working?  What do you need to let go of going forward?  What do you need to spend time on to see better results?  How can you be much kinder to yourself in the coming year?  Who will you connect with more in the year ahead?  What kind of leader, peer, friend, partner (and other roles) do you want to be?  What do you want?  What is your word/phrase/question for 2016?

No matter what your lessons and reflections, I wish you a beautiful end to year 2015 and a gratitude-filled start to 2016.

To Your Success!


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The Work of Love

So many roads, so many choices, and it seems like I’ve chosen them all in this short life. Life is about choice and we are the sum of our choices.

Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within ourselves that we have built against it.

The work of love is choosing to love. Choosing to treat each other with kindness. Choosing to keep the relationship alive and healthy. Choosing to give to one another. Choosing to remain friends despite conflicts. Choosing to negotiate conflicts to mutually agreed resolutions. Choosing to combine our resources. Choosing to value and respect our differences. Choosing to create a beneficial partnership of independent, yet interdependent individuals.

Real lasting love is a choice.

I googled “I choose love”, and stumbled upon the great quote below by Max Lucado, gathered by goodreads.

It is now I must make a choice. I’m free to choose. And so…

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My spouse/family will not question my love.

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I am a spiritual being… After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.”

― Max Lucado

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Remember, valentine’s day is not all about giving and receiving presents. It’s about your love between each other and that presents are just side-solutions to love.


Judging Others

“Do not judge—or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:1-4.

It is better to have eyes for beauty—than for blemish. It is better to be able to see the roses—than the thorns. It is better to have learned to look for things to commend in others—than for things to condemn. Of course other people have faults—and we are not blind. But then we have faults of our own—and this should make us charitable.

We should train ourselves, therefore, to see the good, not the evil—in others. We should speak approving words of what is beautiful in them; not bitter, condemning words of what may be imperfect or unlovely. We should look at others through eyes of love, not through eyes of envy or of selfishness. We should seek to heal with true affection’s gentleness, the things which are not as they should be.

Cleave Not Leave

For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24

You can separate two pieces of wood taped together, but you cannot separate without great damage two pieces of wood glued together. Cleaving involves unswerving loyalty to one’s marital partner…

Accepting the Biblical standard for cleaving means asking ourselves when contemplating marriage:
‘Am I prepared to make a lifetime commitment to my prospective spouse, for better or for worse till death do us part? Once married, cleaving means to ask ourselves: Will this action, word, decision, or attitude draw us closer together or further apart? Will it build up or tear down our relationship?

For a Christian committed to living by the principles of God’s word, any course of action which weakens the cleaving must be regarded as contrary to God’s design for a marriage covenant.

Having been married for 20 years, I have come to realize that to cleave means that we are now one. We’re no longer two individuals with our separate agendas and plans. Everything we do affects one another, somehow and some way. We’re now our own family, distinct from the families we grew up in.

Did you note that? We’re “distinct from the families we grew up in” –not an extension. It’s a matter of figuring out together what YOUR mark is to be on the world, as husband and wife –as a team. Those who were once your primary family are now to take a back seat to the priorities, which you mark out as a family. You still love your family and friends, but you no longer allow them to take precedence over your spouse.

What does it mean ‘to cleave’? From Genesis 2, it means ‘to adhere to, stick to, to be attached by a strong tie.’ You might be thinking, ‘Yes, that’s me. I’m stuck!’ But that isn’t the meaning here. In the original Hebrew, this verb form speaks of doing something aggressively. In other words, you’re not stuck to something like on fly paper, trying to get loose. Rather, you’re holding on.

Imagine walking along the edge of a cliff and suddenly lose your footing. As you go over the side, you grab a branch and hold on to it. It’s something you’ve done by will, because your life depends on it. That’s the implication of the word ‘cleave’ here.

Therefore, you must periodically examine your life and ask yourself if any relationship or pursuit in which you are currently involved would put distance between you and your spouse. Will it draw you closer together or drive you apart? Will it build your relationship or tear it down?

It is not always the big things that bring a marriage down. It is often the small things. As the Scripture says, it’s ‘the little foxes that spoil the vines’ (Song of Solomon 2:15). In marriage, it can be neglect, or the unwillingness to hold on tightly to your spouse.

Some questions to discuss before you say ‘I Do’.

Why are we getting married? Pregnancy, financial/social security, loneliness or wanting to get out of the family home are not valid reasons to get married.

What do we as a couple want out of life?

Does religion play an important part in your life?

Do you think faith and spirituality are important in marriage?

What is your image of God?

What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?

Can we both forgive?

How will we make decisions together?

What do you think we’ll be doing in thirty or forty years?

Have you ever hit someone?

Are you willing to replace the toilet roll or clean the dishes?

What values do you want to bring from your family into our marriage?

What do you like and dislike about your parents’ marriage?

What do you like and dislike about my family?

What was your childhood like?

Was your family an affectionate one?

Do I have trust issues or feel insecure?

Do you believe we should be doing everything together?

What are our financial goals?

Do we want to have children?

What is your parenting philosophy?

Do you have any children already?


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Life Is Like A Box of Crayons

We could all learn a lesson from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours but they all have to learn to live in the same box. ~ Robert Fulghum

Imagine how amazing it would be if every family member worked together to make life a little easier for each other; if everyone took the time to find out why another person thinks a certain way instead of starting a fight. Imagine if family members overcame their differences to live in the same house.

Enjoy this story!

Once upon a time there were 8 crayons. They all lived together in a gold and green box. They pretty much minded their own business and did not pay much attention to each other. Until one day one of them said, “I’m so blue and lonely. I’d really like to meet everyone in my box.” He leaned over to the next crayon and said, “You look bright and cheerful! What colour are you?” Well, I am the most important colour, of course! I am the colour of the sun. People would not get out of bed in the morning if it were not for me!

The blue crayon moved to the next crayon. Hello! I just met Yellow. What colour are you? I am the prettiest colour in this box! I am the colour of violets and pansies. My name is Purple!

The next crayon seemed to be having a wonderful time. She was smiling and happy and invited Blue to join her. Welcome! I am Orange. I’m so glad to meet you! Blue felt very comfortable to be with Orange, but wanted to meet everyone else in his box.

The next crayon was very focused on the previous crayons. When Blue approached him, he began whining. Why do I have to be the colour of grass on the ground? I want to be bright and shiny like Yellow. I want to be beautiful like Purple. And, Orange is so warm and inviting that everyone wants to be friends with her. Blue could tell this crayon was Green (with jealousy.)

Blue moved on. The next crayon was hard at work. He could see the dirt under his nails and on his face. He introduced himself. Hi. I’m Blue. The crayon responded, I really don’t have time to talk. My name is Brown and I’m the only one who works around here!

The next crayon Blue encountered was lying down and seemed to be rather sleepy. Blue said, I’m sorry to wake you, but I’m trying to meet everyone in our box. The crayon yawned and said, Oh, that’s o.k. I am so tired. I’ve been out all night while everyone else was sleeping. Others hardly notice that I am the night sky. Could you turn out the lights, please?

Not wanting to disrupt Black, Blue moved on to the last crayon. Blue spoke, I’m Blue. You are the last crayon I have to meet. Red replied, So you met all the others, huh? I’m so important, “I am so pretty, I’m the only one that works, blah, blah, blah.” I’m so tired hearing about everyone else, I just might leave this box!

Blue calls a meeting of all 8 crayons. I’m so glad to have met all of you! He looks at Yellow. You are important, but so is every other colour. If everything were bright and yellow, we would all be wearing sunglasses!

He turns to Purple. Purple is a very beautiful colour, but there are pretty Red roses, wonderful Orange butterflies, and Green grass in the spring.

Brown, you work very hard. Sometimes it helps to stop and take a break. Have a little fun!

Black, you may feel unnoticed but you are everywhere, and not just in the night sky. Your shadows may be hiding, but we still see you.

Looking next at Red, I know it’s hard to listen to everyone else’s problems. But we are all in this box together. Listen to your neighbour’s problems like they are your problems.

Blue’s meeting was successful! Soon the whole box was happy and humble, not jealous and resentful. They lived together in peace and harmony and gradually welcomed new, different colours. Soon they moved to a box of 16, 24, and an even happier 64! Even though there were many crayons, they were still one box!

From this story, we found that the crayons were so different, but had one purpose – to colour!

We live in God’s great big world! And, we are so different! We can appreciate each others’ differences and all live here together in peace and harmony, like the crayons, because we are all children of God!

Story by Amy Loftis