The Work of Love

So many roads, so many choices, and it seems like I’ve chosen them all in this short life. Life is about choice and we are the sum of our choices.

Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within ourselves that we have built against it.

The work of love is choosing to love. Choosing to treat each other with kindness. Choosing to keep the relationship alive and healthy. Choosing to give to one another. Choosing to remain friends despite conflicts. Choosing to negotiate conflicts to mutually agreed resolutions. Choosing to combine our resources. Choosing to value and respect our differences. Choosing to create a beneficial partnership of independent, yet interdependent individuals.

Real lasting love is a choice.

I googled “I choose love”, and stumbled upon the great quote below by Max Lucado, gathered by goodreads.

It is now I must make a choice. I’m free to choose. And so…

“I CHOOSE LOVE…
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY…
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE…
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE…
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS…
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS…
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS…
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My spouse/family will not question my love.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF CONTROL…
I am a spiritual being… After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.”

― Max Lucado

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Remember, valentine’s day is not all about giving and receiving presents. It’s about your love between each other and that presents are just side-solutions to love.

Fences in Your Mind

Excerpt from Living a Five Star Life by Betty Mahalik

This book is beautifully written. It is a treasury of wisdom, common sense and inspiration.

I’ve watched the movie Chicken Run at least a half-dozen times. Just beneath the surface of its simplistic look and story line lie a number of wonderful messages told through the eyes of a bunch of Claymation chickens trying to break out of their chicken-wire world to escape their fate at the chopping block. Their freedom leader, a feisty little hen named Ginger, comments profoundly in one scene: “the fences are all in your mind.” She reminds her fellow chickens (and us), that a bigger obstacle than the physical fences they’re surrounded by are the mental fences that hold them captive.

It’s been a good reminder for me on those occasions when I’ve been dealing with my own mental fences…those created by self-doubt, uncertainty, fear. Can you relate? Where have you fenced yourself in mentally in recent days or weeks? Perhaps your mental fence is procrastination, a deadening habit that keeps you stuck. Maybe yours, like mine, is related to self-doubt, and the on-going internal noise it produces that keeps you immobilized. Perhaps yours is the belief that you don’t deserve success, so you sabotage yourself to avoid having to find out how successful you could be. There are a million variations of the theme, but the result is still the same: we stay stuck like the chickens in the movie.

Here are the questions I invite you to ask yourself as you continue on your own personal development journey.

1. What are your mental fences?

2. What is the cost of maintaining these fences (physically and mentally)?

3. Are you willing to let go of your perceived realities (fences) and attempt to conquer them?

If you answered “yes” to question number three, I have a simple equation that will assist you in this process.

VISION + CONSISTENT ACTION = FREEDOM!

Your mental fences can only keep you stuck as long as you’re simply looking “at” them. As soon as you begin to establish a vision and take actions consistent with your vision, I can promise you that your fences will disappear.

If it’s self-doubt, sit down and write out everything you value and why it’s important. Then challenge yourself to eliminate anything that doesn’t absolutely reflect your values, or add something that is a profound statement of who you are.

And remember, the fences are all in your mind!

Our Undiscovered Faults

“How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from my hidden faults.” Psalm 19:12

Besides the faults our neighbours see in us, besides those our closest friends see, besides those of which we ourselves are aware—all of us have undiscovered errors in our life—hidden, secret faults, of which only God knows.

If we are living truly, we want to find every flaw or blemish there is in us—of whatever kind. He is a coward who shrinks from the discovery of his own faults. We should be glad always to learn of any hidden unloveliness in ourselves. Someone says, “Count yourself richer that day in which you discover a new fault in yourself—not richer because it is there—but richer because it is no longer a hidden fault; and if you have not yet found all your faults, pray to have them revealed to you, even if the revelation must come in a way which hurts your pride.”

It is dangerous to allow any faults, however small—to stay in our life; but hidden faults are even more perilous, than those of which we are aware. They are concealed enemies, traitors in the camp, unrecognized, passing for friends! No good, true, and brave man—will allow a discovered sin of fault to stay unchallenged in his life. But undiscovered sin lurks and nests in a man’s heart, and breeds its deadly evil in his very soul. Before he is aware of its presence, it may eat out the heart of his manhood, and poison the very springs of his being.

Hidden faults, remaining undiscovered and uncured in us—will hinder our spiritual growth, and we shall not know the reason for our moral weakness, or lack of power. They will also defeat the working out of the divine plan in our life. When Canove, the great sculptor, was about to begin work upon his statue of Napoleon, it is said that his keen eye saw a tiny red line running through the upper part of the splendid block of marble, out of which he was to carve the statue. The stone had been brought at great expense from Paris for this express purpose. Common eyes saw no flaw in it—but the sculptor saw it, and would not use the marble.

May it not be so ofttimes, with lives which face great opportunities? God’s eye sees in them some undiscovered flaw or fault, some tiny line of marring colour. God desires truth in the inward parts. The life which pleases him must be pure and white throughout. He who clings to discovered faults, refusing to cast them out—or he who refuses to let the candle of the Lord search out the hidden faults in him, that he may put them away—is marring his own destiny. God will not use him for the larger, nobler task or trust—for which he had planned to use him.

The tiny red line running through the marble, causes it to be set aside and rejected. What shall we do? God alone can know our hidden faults. We must ask him to search our hearts and try our ways—and to cleanse our lives of whatever evil thing he finds in us. Our prayer should be—”Who can discern his errors? Cleanse me from hidden faults.” “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” – Psalm 139:23-24

The Master Weaver

When God begins weaving multiple threads of varying hues and textures, the beauty and design of His tapestries are beyond what we could ever think or imagine. Although we often are afforded a view only of the underside as He weaves – what might seem tangled and senseless, when once we begin to get a glimpse of the surface, we see the amazing splendor and wisdom of His planning.

Yes! Someday…we’ll understand it all.

Enjoy!

Poem: The Master Weaver’s Plan

My life is but a weaving
Between the Lord and me;
I may not choose the colours –
He knows what they should be.

For He can view the pattern
Upon the upper side
While I can see it only
On this, the under side.

Sometimes He weaves in sorrow,
Which seems so strange to me;
But I will trust His judgment
And work on faithfully.

‘Tis He who fills the shuttle,
And He knows what is best;
So I shall weave in earnest,
And leave to Him the rest.

Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needed
In the Weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

– Author Unknown

Gossip

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbour. Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.

“Go to the marketplace,” he said, “and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road.” Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.

The next day the wise man said, “Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me.”

The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand. “You see,” said the old sage, “it’s easy to drop them, but it’s impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn’t take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong.”

When talking about others is motivated by thoughts of ill will, jealousy, or attachment, conversation turns into gossip.

“And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.” – I Timothy (ch. 5 v. 13)

Gossip can mean many things, from benignly shared information about someone not present to false rumours insidiously spread, to idle chitchat about someone’s personal life. The question to ask is: What is our motivation when we talk about others? From a Buddhist perspective, the value of our speech depends upon the motivation behind it.

The best antidote to gossip is deliberately and consistently meditating on the kindness of others and cultivating loving kindness toward them. Sit down sometimes and reflect on everything others have done for you since you were born. Start with those who contributed to your upbringing, education, all those who supported you through ups and downs, and all those who encouraged you to exercise your talents. It’s truly amazing how much others have done for us. When our minds become convinced that we’ve been the recipients of a tremendous amount of kindness in our lives, the wish to speak ill of others vanishes. Instead, we become happy to talk about others’ good qualities, virtuous activities, accomplishments and good fortune.

Imagine having conversations in which we talked about people’s good qualities and accomplishments behind their back. Think about it, wouldn’t it be fulfilling in a completely positive way? Speaking about how others have helped us, praising their talents, rejoicing in their decent behaviour, admiring and aspiring to cultivate their good qualities – speaking about all of these uplifts our mind, creates the positive effect of right speech, and helps spread happiness in the world.

Seven Tips for Giving Up Gossip

1. Recognize that gossip doesn’t undo the situation you’re talking about. It only puts in motion another situation based on negative feelings.

2. Know that comparing yourself to others is useless. Everyone has his or her own talents. In this way, give up jealousy and the wish to put others down.

3. Be aware of and transform your own thoughts, words, and deeds rather than commenting on those of others.

4. Train your mind to see others’ positive qualities and discuss them. This will make you much happier than gossiping ever could.

5. Forgive, knowing that people do harmful things because they are unhappy. If you don’t make someone into an enemy, you won’t want to gossip about him.

6. Have a sense of humour about what you think, say and do, and be able to laugh at all the silly things we sentient beings carry out in our attempt to be happy. If you see the humour in our human predicament, you’ll be more patient.

7. Practice saying something kind to someone everyday. Do this with people you don’t like. It gets easier with practice and bears surprisingly good results.